What do you think happens when you take things personally? Do you think you retain the power over yourself or someone else is in total control of you? To be honest, noyone deserve such power over you. No one has the right to have access to who you are or your feelings. You are defined by the decisions you take but be careful not to let anyone influence your decision as to defining who you are.
If you have tried but failed woefully, then the tips below would help you achieve self-control and help you to stop taking things personally.
Everyone is selfish — it’s not right, but it’s okay.
Of all the bad virtues people stay away from, one is so natural and attaches to us quickly is selfishness. No matter how we try, how good we are or want to be, at some point, greed unavoidably sets in. It is one of the basic instinct to survive – every man for himself. Since we are all selfish and surrounded by greedy people alike, the tendency to be crossed by people is on a high, if you choose to stay away, how many people will you stay away from? Just embrace forgiveness.
Ask if it’s about you or someone else.
Have you ever heard of the transfer of aggression? Most times it’s not always about you, it’s about others but the little thing you did at that moment triggers the stored up anger in the person. Sometimes the person you think is angry may not be but is just experiencing mood swings and frustration that makes everything others do seem wrong to him or her. Before you take it personally, let it be a question of what’s the person also going through and stop picking up feelings not meant for you.
Ask yourself – why worry about it.
You can’t change what others would do, but you’ve got the absolute power to choose what your reaction would be. It’s your choice to either be angry at little things or laugh at extreme things and move on. If it is about the person, except you can not change it, then let it be. If it’s about you, then you’re in the best position to choose how you would react to it. Sometimes I ask myself, do I have to punish myself for the mistakes of others?
Keep calm and know what’s up.
If you can wait for the water to settle and see what’s underneath, why throw a stone to see if it would prompt a reaction? If you can chill and let things pass and ask questions, then why get angry and later find out it’s not worth it? Do not write the script of an event that would not happen, direct yourself with anger, act to it and find out you misunderstood the text and that the camera is not even on. Always be calm and see things turning out milder than you thought.
You’ll never know if you never ask.
Assuming something is wrong and not asking if it is the way you thought it is would only give you a headache, it takes nothing for you to ask because it is very likely that black isn’t but white after all. Be sure you’re acting on the right thing.
On a final note, there is a lot to learn when you don’t let things get to you to react the way you shouldn’t. You enjoy a better relationship and have a better sleep.
