Breakup. One word and yet so many emotions and feelings of disappointment, bitterness, pain or harm in it. How to get over the breakup as quickly as possible and what to avoid?
You’re after the breakup with your partner and your mind is running a slow-motion movie with huge headlines: The world has collapsed! This is the end! If you are in this stage of life and think that breakup is the end of everything, stop your thought carousel and continue reading.
Release the pressure
We all know how breakup hurts and how it can turn our lives upside down. Almost all of us have gone through this. Well, there are some exceptions; the lucky ones who met their partner during the teenage years and are still together for many years. Even so, everyone knows what a breakup is, and along with that the pain, disappointment, sleepless nights, wet pillows from tears, and headaches caused by overthinking.
It’s very important to realize that this is a logical state of affairs and all these unpleasant feelings or emotions begin in the head, where a thought or memory arises. In order to get over the breakup faster, we must start in our heads, because it is the place that is most under pressure.
We can feel like a lid on the pot under pressure after a breakup, and the best thing you can do right now is to remove the lid and release the pressure. The storm of emotions in you must come out somehow. You can start hitting the pillow, cry a stream of tears or go to the woods and scream out loud.
Your subconscious cannot be deceived and therefore do not blame your mind that everything is fine and that nothing has happened. Something happened and it’s okay. Admit how you feel right at the moment and accept the situation. If you feel that the pressure can only be released through physical activity, go, as mentioned, into the forest and scream out loud; break old dishes; tear old newspapers; hit the pillow.
Avoid social isolation
One of the unhealthiest decisions many women or men make breakup is to begin to isolate themselves. They stop going into the company of people, their contact with friends or family becomes visibly narrower and instead of venting their thoughts or spending more time among new people, they isolate themselves at home and swim in an ocean of toxic thoughts.
With such a strong stream of negative emotions, these individuals often begin to lose self-esteem and begin to think of themselves as being boring, worthless, or not well-liked by everyone.
The healthiest decision you can make after breaking up is to keep in touch with the people you’ve been in contact with before. If you feel you need to ventilate your thoughts, meet up with your friend, pick up the phone and call them, or communicate over the internet.
Loneliness and isolation after the breakup are comparable to pouring gasoline on a fire. It makes more heat and worsens the situation. If you receive an invitation to a party, concert, dinner, or any other event, do not decline! The sooner you take action, the better you do.
Stop stalking them on social media
We, humans, are by nature very curious creatures. There is nothing wrong with curiosity, but everything has its limits. If your ex is still on your facebook friends list, or you are following them on any social media platform, let their privacy be their privacy.
Don’t watch their posts or stories, nor social media posts from their close ones or family members. Such practices only result in your ex being on your mind all day. It is extremely toxic and instead of pulling you out of that vicious circle, you’ll start spinning even more.
Challenge yourself and promise not to look at their profile or Instagram stories for 2 weeks or more. Not only will this help you tremendously, but you will prove yourself how strong you are.
Avoid rage and revenge
Rage is a perfectly appropriate reaction after a breakup. When you lose something, you get angry. But while feeling angry is okay, it is definitely not okay to act in rage and anger. It is necessary to learn to recognize anger, accept it as your emotion, talk about it and let it go.
Sadness and fear are actually two sides of the same precious coin. Some people cannot experience sadness, they just get angry. And some people can’t be angry, they’re just sad. Expressing anger and sadness is healthy. But it is necessary to let off steam in the right way. Avoid revenge of any kind and learn not to succumb to anger because a lot of people that can’t keep their emotions at bay start calling their ex and cry on the phone. This only worsens the situation.
Like we said when we talked about releasing tension; kick something or smash old dishes. Scream in the car or in the woods. Remove any objects that remind you of your ex, or throw them along with your anger into a container.
Learn to avoid anger because it is a very negative emotion that can have a negative impact on both your mental and physical health.
Everything is temporary
It is hard to see things light a short while after the breakup. You may feel as if you are out of focus, without motivation, energy and the desire to live. Any situation of this kind is very difficult, but try to ask yourself:
- Do I want to feel like this in a year from now?
- Do I want to feel like this for the rest of my life?
- Is it worth isolating myself, not talking to people and grieving?
Remember, everything is temporary and over time you will look at these days through different eyes.