You finally meet someone who makes you feel seen, adored, chosen. They call you every morning, text you all day, tell you you’re the most beautiful person they’ve ever met. They talk about the future, vacations, houses, kids, forever.
And then, just as quickly as it began, the calls stop. Messages go unanswered. They pull away. No explanation. No closure. Just silence.
Yesterday you were everything.
Today you’re nothing.
And you’re left asking: What happened? Were they pretending? Will they come back?
This is the cycle of love bombing and ghosting, and no matter how romantic it felt at first, it was never real love. It was control, fantasy, or fear wearing love’s costume.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with affection, attention, and praise at the start of a connection. It feels magical, like fate, like destiny, like you’ve finally met “the one.”
But love bombing isn’t genuine closeness. It’s intensity without intimacy.
They:
- Text you constantly
- Call you “soulmate” on the second date
- Talk about moving in or marrying you too soon
- Give big gifts, grand promises, and endless compliments
But beneath the surface, it’s not devotion. It’s a tactic, conscious or unconscious, to gain trust, admiration, or emotional control.
How the Cycle Works
- Idealization (Love Bombing): You’re perfect. You’re special. They mirror your dreams.
- Devaluation: They pull away. Criticize you. Stop trying. You chase the version of them that no longer exists.
- Ghosting or Disappearing: They vanish. No explanation. They leave you confused, craving another hit of the love they once gave freely.
- Repeat (if you let them back in): They return with apologies… until the cycle begins again.
It’s not romance… it’s emotional manipulation or emotional immaturity.
Why Do People Love Bomb?
Not everyone who love bombs is evil. But their behavior is still harmful. Here are the most common reasons why it happens:
Narcissistic Validation
Narcissists love bomb to secure admiration. Once they know you want them, they get bored or irritated, because the chase is over. They ghost to regain control.
Fear of Intimacy
Some people crave connection but panic when it becomes real. They disappear because staying means vulnerability, accountability, honesty, and they’re not ready for that.
Unrealistic Fantasy
They fall in love with the idea of you, not who you truly are. When they discover you’re human, imperfect, complex… they withdraw instead of communicating like an adult.
Impulsiveness & Thrill Addiction
They love the high of new love, the dopamine rush. But the moment it requires effort or stability, they’re already chasing someone new.
Why the Sudden Ghosting Hurts So Much
Because they didn’t just leave you… they left with your hope.
Your nervous system goes into panic. Your mind replays every conversation, wondering what you did wrong. You wait for a text that may never come.
But here’s a truth few people say out loud:
If someone can leave you without explanation, they were never emotionally safe to love in the first place.
Red Flags of Love Bombing (Before It Turns Into Ghosting)
- They confess deep feelings too soon
- They pressure you to commit fast
- They get upset if you set boundaries or slow things down
- They don’t really know you, yet put you on a pedestal
- Their actions feel dramatic, urgent, or performative, not calm, steady, real
- You feel special, but also overwhelmed
What To Do If It Happens to You
- Do not chase them. Their silence is a decision, not a mistake.
- Don’t blame yourself. You didn’t imagine it, they just couldn’t sustain it.
- Feel the pain, but don’t make it your home. Journal. Cry. Block their number if you must.
- Remember: real love is quiet, consistent, steady, not fireworks and abandonment.
And the best revenge?
Healing.
Not begging. Not posting quotes. Not waiting. Just… healing.
When the Illusion Fades, the Lesson Remains
Love bombing feels like a fairy tale. Ghosting feels like the end of one. But neither is love.
Real love doesn’t disappear when things get real. It isn’t perfect, but it stays. It communicates. It grows slowly, rooted not in fantasy, but in choice.
You weren’t too much.
They simply weren’t ready for real.
