You finally met the perfect man or woman, the one that showers you with attention and affection. They make you feel like a princess or a prince – the most important person in the world. But suddenly, pull away and cut off contact completely. Yesterday, you were on cloud nine, but today, you feel abandoned and confused.
This phenomenon of “love bombing” and then “ghosting” has become increasingly common in dating. I know how much that hurts. And I get why some people hold out hope that they’ll come back, but honestly, it’s probably not going to happen. Here’s why.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when someone really showers you with affection early on in dating. They’re always complimenting you and getting you gifts, trying to make you feel really special. At first, it’s really nice; you think, wow, this person is perfect for me! But it’s not really real or something that can last.
See, what they’re doing is bombarding you with all this positive stuff, like paying attention to you all the time and getting you things just to hook you. Once they’ve got you, then it starts.
First they back off and aren’t as nice or maybe even get critical of you. You’re just confused trying to get them back to how they were before. Then, bam, the love bombing begins again, and the cycle repeats. It’s actually a way to manipulate you emotionally so you’re always chasing their approval and off balance.
Signs You’re Being Love Bombed
When someone is love bombing you, they shower you with attention 24/7. They text you constantly, call you repeatedly, and always want to spend time together right away. At first, this intense affection feels amazing, but no healthy relationship moves at warp speed.
Excessive Flattery
Love bombers lavish you with compliments and praise, making you feel like a queen or a prince – like the most important person in their world. They tell you things like “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen” or “I’ve never connected with someone like this before.” Yep, this excessive flattery is not genuine and is designed to manipulate you!
Moves Too Quickly
Love bombers want to get serious fast. They’re talking marriage, kids, or moving in together within weeks of meeting you. They claim you’re their soul mate, and they’ve never felt this way before. They are trying to lock you down before you realize the relationship is built on fantasy, not reality.
Why Do People Love Bomb?
Some people love bomb to get validation and feel better about themselves. When they’re lavishing you with praise and gifts, it makes them feel confident and desirable. But once they get that validation, their insecurity returns and they pull away. For these people, real emotional intimacy is too scary.
Narcissism
For narcissists, love bombing and then ghosting is all about control and getting their ego stroked. Love bombing is a way to manipulate you into becoming dependent on their affection and compliments. Once you’re hooked, they will ghost you to keep you anxious and eager to please them. It’s a vicious cycle to feed their need for power and admiration.
Impulsiveness
Some people are just impulsive and live in the moment. When they meet someone new they’re attracted to, they dive in headfirst without thinking about the consequences. But as quickly as the infatuation starts, it fizzles out. They get bored easily and move on to the next shiny object of their affection. For these spontaneous romantics, the thrill is in the chase.
Why The Sudden Change And Ghosting?
You’ve been lavished with affection and attention, only for this new romantic interest to suddenly vanish into thin air. Sad? Maybe. Painful? Definitely! Unfortunately, this hot and cold behavior is a tactic used by some to manipulate others and feed their own ego.
They’re Narcissists Seeking Validation
Narcissists crave constant validation and admiration. The initial love bombing makes you feel like the center of their world, which boosts your self-esteem and makes you emotionally dependent on them. Once they have you hooked, they no longer need to put in effort. They’ve already gotten their fix of validation, so they move on to find their next source.
They’re Emotionally Unavailable
Some people have trouble forming deep, meaningful connections. They love bomb to create an intense emotional experience, but then panic and retreat when things start to feel “too real.” The ghosting is their way of avoiding intimacy and vulnerability. They’d rather disappear than have an honest conversation about their feelings.
In this case, however, they’re probably just really shy or don’t really know how to deal with their feelings or what to do next.
They Have Unrealistic Expectations
The love bomber believes you’re “the one” who will meet all their needs and make them happy. When they discover you’re only human, they become disappointed and bitter. Instead of accepting you for who you are or communicating their needs, they punish you with rejection and ghosting. They’re stuck in a cycle of unrealistic expectations that no partner could ever fulfill.
Sadly, if you’re dealing with a real narcissist, things might take a turn for the worse. They used to see you as the perfect one, but now you’re just like anyone else to them. And because they’re always chasing that new relationship high, they’ll move on to someone new. It’s like you were never even special to them.
Keep Your Eyes Open For Red Flags
If someone came on way too strong at first, that’s usually a red flag that something isn’t right. Either they really felt that way, but that’s just not normal, or they were just trying to play games and mess with your head. Either way, if they suddenly disappear or ghost you, don’t even stress it. Chances are they were just a straight-up narcissist. This person don’t deserve any of your time or energy. And if you really want to get back at them, don’t give them the satisfaction of knowing they’re even on your mind!
