We’ve all had that one person who lingers in our thoughts – maybe a crush, an ex, or someone who just left a strong impression. But what happens when that fixation isn’t just a passing thought but an all-consuming obsession? That’s when it crosses into a lesser-known aspect of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD): fixation on a person.
I had a friend, let’s call her Sarah, who went through this. At first, I didn’t understand what was happening. She seemed infatuated with someone, but over time, it became clear that this wasn’t just a crush or even typical jealousy. It was something deeper, more relentless, and far more distressing for her.
What Does It Mean To Be Obsessed With Someone In An OCD Way?
When most people hear “OCD,” they think of hand-washing, checking locks, or arranging things perfectly. But OCD is much more complex. One of its subtypes involves obsessive thoughts about a person, often accompanied by compulsive behaviors to “neutralize” the anxiety those thoughts bring.
For Sarah, it started innocently enough. She met a guy, let’s say Mark, and they hit it off. But soon, her brain latched onto him in a way that wasn’t romantic or even logical. She wasn’t just thinking about him – she was terrified of thinking about him. Her mind would bombard her with questions:
“What if I’m in love with him and don’t realize it?”
“What if I accidentally say his name in front of my partner?”
“What if thinking about him means I’m betraying someone?”
These weren’t passing worries. They were intrusive thoughts – unwanted, repetitive, and deeply unsettling. And because OCD thrives on doubt, the more she tried to push the thoughts away, the stronger they became.
The Compulsions: The Mental Rituals That Followed
OCD doesn’t just bring obsessions—it also creates compulsions, the behaviors people use to ease their anxiety. Sarah’s compulsions were mostly mental:
Reassurance-seeking: She’d ask me, “Do you think I actually like him, or is it just OCD?” over and over.
Mental reviewing: She’d replay every interaction with him, analyzing if she had “given signs” of attraction.
Avoidance: She started avoiding places he might be, even though they were just friends.
The worst part? She didn’t actually feel anything romantic toward him at all. Her OCD had latched onto him as a theme, turning an ordinary acquaintance into a source of relentless anxiety.
Why Does OCD Fixate on People?
OCD often targets what a person values most. If you’re a moral person, it might make you question whether you’re secretly evil. If you value relationships, it might convince you that you’ll cheat or hurt someone. For Sarah, who prided herself on loyalty, the idea that she could be “obsessed” with someone else felt like a betrayal of her own identity.
This type of obsession is sometimes called “Relationship OCD” (ROCD) or “False Attraction OCD.” It tricks people into believing their thoughts must mean something, even when they don’t.
How She Started Recovering
Sarah’s turning point came when she finally saw a therapist who specialized in OCD. They explained that engaging with the thoughts, trying to prove them wrong or analyze them, only made them stronger. Instead, she had to learn to:
Accept the thoughts without fighting them – Instead of arguing with her brain (“I don’t like him!”), she practiced saying, “Maybe I do, maybe I don’t—it doesn’t matter.”
Stop the mental compulsions – No more reviewing conversations or seeking reassurance.
Expose herself to triggers – She gradually stopped avoiding him, proving to her brain that nothing bad would happen.
It wasn’t easy. There were days she felt like the thoughts would never go away. But slowly, they lost their power.
What I Learned From Watching Her Struggle
Before Sarah opened up about this, I had no idea OCD could manifest this way. I used to think obsession meant “really liking someone.” But now I know that yes, OCD can make you obsessed with a person.
If you’re going through something like this, just remember:
You’re not crazy. OCD thrives on uncertainty and fear.
The thoughts don’t define you. Just because a thought pops into your head doesn’t mean it’s real or true.
Help is out there. Therapy—especially ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention)—can really be a game-changer.
Sarah’s doing much better now. She still has moments where the thoughts creep in, but they don’t control her anymore. And if you’re struggling with something similar, I hope her story helps you realize that you’re not alone, and it can get better.
