I know we’ve all seen those relationship advice videos on TikTok and YouTube, where they talk about how you have to stop chasing after someone and let them go instead. And I know, when I first heard it, I was like, “Pshh, what do they know?” But the more time went by, the more I realized just how spot-on their advice was.
If you keep chasing after someone who’s pulling away, it’s just going to push them further. But if you can stop chasing and do your own thing, letting them come to you instead of you always going to them, it shows you’re independent and happy either way. Funny how that works, but it really does seem to get their attention and make them wonder what you’re up to when you’re not always right there waiting for them.
Here’s my experience and why they, sooner or later, ALWAYS come back.
Reclaiming My Energy And Power
A few years ago, I would chase anyone who showed me the slightest bit of interest. I craved attention and affection, so I would drop everything to be available for them. But time and time again, they would disappear as quickly as they came into my life.
I realized that by constantly chasing after people, I was giving away my own power and control. I wasn’t focusing on myself or the things that really mattered to me. I chased them because I thought my life wasn’t complete without them. I thought I’d never feel fulfilled unless I had them. But that’s not true! You have to feel whole within yourself before you can find real love.
When I stopped chasing people, it gave me more confidence in who I am. I didn’t need validation from others anymore. I knew my own worth, and if someone couldn’t see that, then I was okay with focusing on my own growth and journey.
After a while, I started saying this affirmation I found on TikTok: “I take my power back from everyone and everything.” Less than three months later, he contacted me again.
My advice? Stop chasing and start reclaiming your power. Do your own thing, and don’t make someone else your priority if they aren’t making you theirs. Give your time and energy to those who genuinely appreciate you for who you are, flaws and all. The rest will follow in their own time, and by then, you may have realized you don’t need them after all.
The Power of Doing Your Own Thing
I decided I had enough. I stopped reaching out to people all the time and making myself available whenever they wanted something. I started focusing on the things and people that really mattered to me. At first, it was tough, but it felt good to take back some control over my life and be more independent.
I was a MESS. I was crying, yelling, looking through old photos, and thinking about memories. But before I went to bed that night, I told myself something. I said “Why am I being so ungrateful? Tomorrow, when I wake up, I’m going to appreciate what I’ve got. Life is short, and I was so blind!“
After a while, things started looking up. I picked up some hobbies, hung out with supportive friends, and worked on personal goals. I felt way happier and more confident than I had in a long time.
Right around then, the person I’d been chasing started contacting me again. They were messaging me and wanting to hang out. That time when we went out with friends, I played tennis and went bowling. Of course, I was posting about these fun times on social media where they could see.
I realized that when I stopped feeding their ego and showering them with attention, they started to miss it. My new self-confidence and goals were attractive to them. But by then I knew I deserved better and didn’t need that kind of person in my life. Sure, I still had feelings for them, but I knew if we got back together, it would be the same old thing. Because that’s just the way they were – making promises but never following through.
How Pulling Back Draws Them In
Imagine you’re out in the garden chasing a rabbit. The more you run after it, the faster it will go to get away from you. Eventually, it would disappear into the distance, and naturally, you want to catch it even more.
You started putting out food, hoping to attract it, but no luck. Then, you just walked around the garden every day, hoping to spot it. But you know what, you never did find it.
But what if you put the food out and do your own thing instead of looking for the rabbit? Sure enough, after a while, it will come back. And it’s the same with human beings, too.
When you stop chasing after them and focus on your own life, they notice. They see that you’re happy just doing your own thing. That sends a signal that you don’t need anything from them. And you know what’s funny? People are actually more attracted to those who are happy and confident being on their own. So sometimes, the best way to get someone back is just to stop chasing them and do you instead.
The Moral of The Story
Don’t chase people who don’t treat you well. Take back your power and energy simply by focusing on yourself. Do your own thing, pursue your dreams, and surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. Not only will you be much happier, but those who took you for granted may come to realize what they’re missing. But by then, you’ll have moved on to bigger and better things. I am not in your shoes, so the decision is up to you!