You’ve been riding the rollercoaster of limerence for a while now, filled with intrusive thoughts about your LO and the euphoria of reciprocation. But lately, something feels a little different. The highs don’t seem as high, and the lows aren’t as debilitating. Your love object is starting to slip from your mind more often. Could this be a sign that your limerence is finally winding down?
You’re Not Obsessing Over Them Anymore
You’ve stopped constantly checking their social media profiles or waiting for their messages. The anxiety and anticipation you used to feel is fading. Your mood no longer depends on whether they call or text.
This is a sign your limerence is loosening its grip. When you’re obsessed, thoughts of them consume you. Now, you’re taking back control over your mind. You’re focusing on yourself again instead of wasting mental energy fantasizing about a relationship that may never happen.
It’s freeing, isn’t it? No longer feeling like a puppet with your strings pulled by uncertainty and longing. Enjoy this independence—you deserve to direct your own life rather than let it be dictated by someone else.
Your rose-colored glasses have come off, and you’re seeing this person as they truly are. They seem a little less magical and mysterious. A little more human.
The Emotional Rollercoaster Has Ended
The ups and downs that accompany limerence start to level off. You no longer feel intense highs of joy and excitement or lows of anxiety and longing. The emotional turmoil that once consumed your thoughts begins to fade into the background.
This leveling off of intense emotions is a sign that limerence is ending. While you may still care for the person, the uncontrollable emotional highs and lows are calming. You start to see the relationship and the other person with more balanced perspective. The longing and pining start to feel less urgent and all-consuming.
This return to emotional equilibrium can be bittersweet. You may miss the intensity of limerence but also feel relieved that the emotional rollercoaster ride is coming to an end. Your thoughts and behaviors start to feel more grounded and less obsessive. You can finally come up for air and see beyond the fantasy of what could be.
You’ve Lost Interest In Learning More About Them
The intense curiosity you once had about every little detail of their life has faded. You’re no longer stalking their social media profiles or making excuses to run into them “accidentally.” The constant desire to know where they are and who they’re with has disappeared.
While limerence often involves an insatiable interest in the limerent object, as the infatuation starts to wane, so does the urge to gather information about them. You’re able to go hours or even days without wondering what they’re up to or hoping for a message from them. The spell has been broken, and you’re seeing them as just another person again rather than someone shrouded in mystery and intrigue.
You’re Ready To Move On With Your Life
You know the limerence is ending when thoughts of them no longer consume you. Suddenly, you realize entire days have passed without thinking of them at all. Your mood and happiness aren’t dependent on whether or not they text you back right away.
Instead of waiting around for them, you’re pursuing your own interests again and nurturing relationships with supportive friends and family. You’re making plans for the future that don’t revolve around them.
You’re reclaiming your independence and becoming your own person again. You’re ready to start the next chapter of your life without them as the main character.
Increased Interest In Others
As your limerence for that special someone starts to fade, you’ll notice your gaze wandering to other potential partners. You’ll find yourself checking out attractive strangers or colleagues and imagining what it might be like to date them. Your crush may have consumed your thoughts for a while, but now you’re realizing there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
This is a sign your intense infatuation is losing its grip. While you were deep in the throes of limerence, no one else even registered on your radar. But as those rose-colored glasses start to clear, your eyes are opening to romantic possibilities all around you. You’re able to appreciate people’s good qualities without idealizing them. And you’re beginning to understand that you have options – you don’t have to pin all your hopes on one person who may not reciprocate your feelings.
You Have Stopped Checking Their Social Media
You used to find yourself scrolling through their social media profiles constantly, eagerly awaiting any new posts or updates. But lately, you realize you haven’t even thought to check what they’re up to or see if they’ve shared any new photos. This is a sign your limerence is ending.
When you were deep in the throes of limerence, social media was a way to feel connected to them even when you were apart. Their posts and updates gave you a rush of excitement and a sense of intimacy into their life. But as the intensity of your feelings has dwindled, so too has your desire to scrutinize their every social media move. You’re no longer anxiously awaiting their next post or story update. In fact, you may go days or even weeks without wondering what they’ve shared recently.
Less Fantasizing
The honeymoon phase is over—you’re not daydreaming about your crush constantly anymore. Those elaborate fantasies you used to construct in your mind about romantic evenings together or your perfect future are fading. While at first, it was exciting to imagine what could be, now you’re more focused on the realities of your situation and whether this person actually fits into your life.
The nonstop thoughts of “what if” have calmed down, and you’re thinking more logically about the viability of a real relationship. This doesn’t necessarily mean you like them any less, just that the initial infatuation has worn off. Your rose-colored glasses have come off, and you’re seeing them—and the potential relationship—with open eyes. This shift to more realistic views is a sign your limerence is ending, and a healthier, long-term attachment can form.
Acceptance of Reality
You start to see the other person as they really are, flaws and all, instead of viewing them through rose-colored glasses. The fantasy version you built up in your mind begins to fade as you recognize their human imperfections and shortcomings. This transition to realistic thinking can be uncomfortable, but it’s necessary to move on from limerence.
Accepting the truth about who this person actually is allows you to stop idolizing and idealizing them. You finally understand that they are not the perfect soulmate you imagined and, in fact, may not be the right match for you after all. Coming to terms with this fact is essential to overcoming unhealthy attachment and obsession. As the veil of illusion lifts, you’re able to evaluate the relationship or potential relationship more objectively and rationally.
You Are More Confident In Yourself
You start to realize your own self-worth isn’t defined by your relationship status or how much attention you’re getting from your crush. Your confidence and security come from within, not from what others think of you. This newfound confidence allows you to feel comfortable with uncertainty and not knowing where things may lead romantically. You accept yourself for who you are – imperfections and all.
Rather than feeling anxious or worried about the future of the relationship, you feel an inner calm and assurance in yourself. You recognize your own talents, skills, and positive qualities. You appreciate yourself for the unique individual you are. This self-acceptance and self-love help free you from the emotional rollercoaster of limerence. You find contentment and joy from nurturing your own interests, values and personal growth.
You start to see yourself as enough, just as you are. You don’t need the validation of another person to feel good about yourself. This is a sure sign limerence is ending and you’re breaking free to find a healthier, more balanced way of relating to yourself and others. The confidence you gain will serve you well in all areas of your life.
You No Longer See Them In Everything
Has their name lost its power over you? There was a time when hearing or seeing their name gave you butterflies and made your heart skip a beat. Now, you barely notice. The constant reminders of them—their favorite songs, places you frequented together, inside jokes—no longer overwhelm you with emotion. Your world no longer revolves around them.
This is a clear sign limerence is releasing its grip. When infatuated, your beloved dominates your thoughts. They are tied to so many parts of your daily life that you can’t escape thinking about them. As the infatuation fades, these connections start to dissolve. Their name becomes just another word, rather than a magical incantation. Places and activities you once shared no longer fill you with memories of the time together.
