Their birthday is coming up soon, and you’re thinking, “Should I shoot them a text or not? It’s not like it’s a big deal or anything, just saying happy birthday.” I get it, hitting send seems so simple and harmless. But for real, sending an ex a birthday text usually just stirs things up more than it helps. Here’s why.
It Reopens Old Wounds
Texting your ex “happy birthday” seems harmless enough, but trust us, it’s not worth it. As soon as you hit send, all those old hurt feelings and memories of what went wrong will come flooding back. Why put yourself through that pain again? You broke up for a reason, so don’t go digging up the past.
You’ve been working hard to move on since the breakup. So keep looking ahead instead of behind you. Remind yourself how much better off you are now and how far you’ve come. Thinking about the old heartbreak will just drag you back down to that lonely place.
When it comes to their birthday, it’s not really about “birthday” – it’s about reopening that door and trying to reconnect with them again. But you already closed that chapter. So just leave the past in the past, no need to pick at old wounds.
It Gives Them False Hope
Sending your ex a “happy birthday” text seems harmless, but it could give them the wrong idea and open up old wounds. When they get that text from you, they might think you want to get back together or that you’re still not over them. I’m sure you’re just being polite, but they have no way of knowing that’s all it is.
Even if you have good intentions, a simple birthday text could make your ex believe you want to try again, especially if you were the one who wanted to break up. After a breakup, people feel vulnerable and might take little things the wrong way. Your ex could obsess over that text for days, overanalyzing what you meant by it and if you want them back. To avoid confusion or hurt feelings, it’s best not to contact them at all on their birthday.
It Makes You Look Desperate
Another reason why I wouldn’t recommend texting your ex just to say happy birthday is because you come across as still being hung up on them. Even if you’re still friendly, bringing up their birthday could stir up old feelings for both of you.
Think about why you really want to send that text. Is it just to wish them well casually, or are you secretly hoping it’ll start a conversation and you guys will reconnect? Be real with yourself. If any part of you still wants to get back together, using their birthday as an excuse to text isn’t the move.
Just don’t do it. You’ll only look desperate and like you aren’t over them emotionally yet. Just do your own thing—focus on your hobbies and friends. The more you keep busy with your own life, the less you’ll even think about your ex, let alone feel like you have to text them on their birthday.
It Prevents You From Moving On
It’s kind of funny, but texting your ex on their birthday just gives you a tiny bit of hope that maybe they still think about you, too. But let’s be real—they’ve probably moved on by now, and anything they say back is just to be polite. Save yourself the disappointment, and don’t text your ex happy birthday.
Breakups are painful, I know, but time really does heal all wounds. To get better, you have to cut off contact so you can work through the hurt, grieve the relationship, and start rebuilding your life without them in it. Texting them on their special day just rips that scab off again and sets you back to square one. You have to be strong and leave them be so your heart can start to mend.
And if you’re still holding out hope by reaching out on their birthday, let’s call a spade a spade – you aren’t over them yet. And if you’re not over your ex, you aren’t ready to start dating someone new. People will see you aren’t fully available emotionally and you won’t be able to fully commit to building something real with someone new. Make the choice to stop hitting them up so you can finally move forward.
It’s Just Another Day On The Calendar
To you, their birthday should just be another day. While birthdays can bring back good memories from your time together, that part of your life is done.
Once again, you two broke up for a reason, and hitting them up on their birthday will probably just stir up old feelings of hurt, wanting more, or regret. Instead of living in the past, use their birthday to take care of yourself. Go grab a nice dinner, get a massage, curl up with a book, or do a hobby you enjoy. Keep yourself busy so you don’t feel like reaching out.
Really try to stay occupied on their birthday to get your mind off contacting them. Then, the next day, when you wake up, their birthday will be over, so you won’t feel the need to text them anymore.
